I want to stay in a place for years. I want to call it “home”. I want to say, it’s where I belong. It might not be a geographical location, but maybe a heart of a person whom I will love forever. Who could it be? I’ve been waiting for 27 years. I will be here or maybe there still sojourning until I see you face to face. Until then, my love. I will be waiting.
She went to the field with her journal and pen. She sat on the grass and started writing…
The shadows may hunt me,
but they can never stop me.
Dried wounds, they may reopen.
But they will eventually heal.
She breathed deeply and felt the wind touch every inch of her. It’s the kind of writing moment she always looked for, being in a quiet place and the wind blows.
The playing kids in the corridor, the noisy children in the classroom, the messy chairs, the blanks in the attendance sheet, the repetitive sound of the computer keyboard, the loud sound of the bell and the other things to be observed in the school will always be remembered by him. School was his favorite place. Despite the fact that he is an introvert and he enjoys peace, he will never forget the beautiful chaos in the school. He was once there to be a channel of learning and surprisingly he also learned from the subject matter to one’s life experiences. He has regrets for leaving but he has to go. There were other plans in his mind that he has to pursue while he is still young. “I will be back.” He said as he closed the gate of the school.
Words from the very mouth of her family brought bruises, wounds and even scars in her heart. She was hurt and mad all at the same time. It seemed no one is there to support and understand her. She can’t cry or curse, she can’t express her feelings but when a person hugged her, she started crying. And as she was being hugged, words of affirmation came out from the mouth of the other person. She said, “You are beautiful. Whether they appreciate it or not, you are still beautiful. You are valuable. Your worth is not measured on how you perform or how you do things, you are simply valuable. Just like a thousand peso bill, whether they crumple you, or step on you, your worth will never decrease. You are loved. There are people who believe in you, who are willing to fight for you and sacrifice for you. We are still here.” The other person held her face and said, “Always remember that. Don’t ever forget.” Even though tears are not stopping yet from flowing, she smiled.
He surprisingly pulled her to him and slowly danced her. And as they dance, he sang her favorite song.
“Lovely… Never, never change
Keep that breathless charm
Won’t you please arrange it? ‘Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight.”
(The Way You Look Tonight, Michael Buble)
They hugged each other for a minute or two, enjoying their little moment. “Happiest birthday, dear.” He whispered softly in her ears. She smiled at his little surprise. She knew this day will never be forgotten.
He was so devastated. He locked himself to the room. He kept on wiping the waters falling from his eyes. He was deeply hurt. But a knock on the door disturbed his privacy. A little voice said, “Papa?” As he heard it, he wiped the tears in his eyes, and straightened his shirt.
I need to be strong. My two little girls need me. Oh, God help me.
Then he opened the door and smiled, “Hello Angels, how are you?” “We’re now fine.” The eldest answered. “Teacher said mama is now happy in heaven. We are happy too.” The two girls smiled innocently as they hug their father.
He knelt before her and tied the strings of her shoes. She hugged him and said, “Thank you, Daddy. I love you.” Then she ran around the park. He smiled at the thought and muttered under his breath, “I love you too, dear.”
I missed him so much. I missed seeing him in the morning, cooking our favorite breakfast. I missed sitting beside him in the afternoon while watching a TV series. I missed taking pictures with him and see him smile. I missed lying beside him, doing nothing. I missed talking to him at night about anything and everything. I missed sleeping beside him, while hugging him so tight. I missed his gestures, facial expressions, hugs, and kisses. I missed everything about him. I want him back. I just don’t know how to retrieve him from the soil. I loved and will always love him until the end of time.
It was heavily raining outside. She closed the door and went to their room. The lights were off though the windows were open. Lights from the outside keep their room a little less dark. She sat beside him and looked at him. He got up and leaned on her. They stayed that way for a little while. Then she faced him, looking at him with admiration. She removed his eye glasses, then held his face on her hands, she uttered, “You are wonderful.” He smiled. “Depression cannot stop your charms.” He giggled and mouthed ‘thank you’.
I remember loving to observe you from the features of your face and to how you looked at me. Little did I know that as much as it gives me joy, it gives me pain too.
Your features, they’re handsome as ever. You have these thick eyebrows, and pointed nose. Oh, I adore that nose. I love pinching it. You also have those thin lines of lips that I used to kiss, and small eyes which were used to look at me intently. Those were your features I always enjoy to look at each and every time.
And I remember it clearly how you looked at me. Once, you held my face, tucked my hair on my ear then trace your fingers in every single part of my face while your eyes, they focus on me like they want to tell me I am special, that you will be always there, and that I am beautiful despite my imperfections.
But then, I saw you last time, you barely looked at me. Your eyes aren’t the same. They changed. What I saw was indifference. It pains me to see that but I guess those were the indication that maybe just maybe, you are no longer happy with me.