Personal · Thoughts&Reflection

Happiness

In this time of hardships, where do you find joy or happiness?

I am a person who’s always in deep thought of true meaning of happiness. I even disagreed with someone’s Philosophy that “Happiness is the goal of life.” For I believe that not all things that makes us happy are good and we always have to evaluate that.

I must admit, I have been unhappy these days and smiles are nowhere to be found. I have been swallowed by my past and present circumstance. But while I was praying, God reminded me that He’s the ultimate source of joy and the only thing I should do is surrender. I wildly cried as I poured out my heart but you know what’s the best part? I found joy, happiness and peace after. It will only be found in Him.

I hope today, if you are looking for joy, happiness and peace, you come to Him because He will be glad to take care of you. (Matthew 11:28 & Deuteronomy 32:10)In this time of hardships, where do you find joy or happiness? I am a person who’s always in deep thought of true meaning of happiness. I even disagreed with someone’s Philosophy that “Happiness is the goal of life.” For I believe that not all things that makes us happy are good and we always have to evaluate that. I must admit, I have been unhappy these days and smiles are nowhere to be found. I have been swallowed by my past and present circumstance. But while I was praying, God reminded me that He’s the ultimate source of joy and the only thing I should do is surrender. I wildly cried as I poured out my heart but you know what’s the best part? I found joy, happiness and peace after. It will only be found in Him.I hope today, if you are looking for joy, happiness and peace, you come to Him because He will be glad to take care of you. (Matthew 11:28 & Deuteronomy 32:10)

Personal · Thoughts&Reflection

Consistency

Lately, I’ve been thinking of people who tried to be in a relationship with me, especially this quarantine and I saw one characteristic to them, inconsistency. All of them are good starters but couldn’t finish. They all end up leaving without notice too! And I must admit, it’s frustrating but I cannot control them Still thankful to God since He showed me that those were not the love He wants for me. Surely, many of you would agree that not even your spouse could satisfy the love we all yearned for, only God.

God’s love is so pure, consistent and unconditional.

I remember one time when I was in the height of struggling with my depression, someone wouldn’t talk to me unless I am doing great in my spiritual life. It was so conditional to the point that I want to force myself to be okay just to be able talk to her. But again, God convinced me that it’s not the love He wants for me and he reminded me of His love. And as I continue to struggle, God showed me more of His grace and love that I can’t even imagine. I was brought back to the cross, His greatest public display of affection which is my favorite. Who would be willing to love us when we messed up? Who would be willing to die for us? Who would forgive us when we repeatedly sin? Who would love us without condition? Definitely none but Jesus. And what’s the best thing about this? He is consistent. Remember that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

Personal · Thoughts&Reflection

Slowly but Surely

I was pouring muscovado to a bottle when I realized how important to be patient and to do things slowly.

I don’t want to waste muscovado so I slowly pour it to the bottle. It took time but I have spill after pouring. I did it successfully. And I remember my healing, it might not be easy, it might take time (according to the doctor it might take 3 years of medication), it might not be purely straight line towards healing but it will be sure. I want to make sure, I am doing it right.

Ctto

I was feeling blue and I felt pressured. In one week time, it will be my birthday but somehow I felt like pressured. I was thinking if people will truly celebrate my birthday. Do they really appreciate my existence? I am worried as well of this feeling because I might not be healing well. Then my cousin sent that to me. And she’s right. There will be days that you will not be okay, and that’s fine. It will be a rough road towards healing but the important part is, you are healing. Slowly, but surely. I am now determine to take one step at a time. ❤️

Personal · Thoughts&Reflection

Dealing with Who I Am

Almond

During my therapy session this week, we dealt with the question, “Who is Jireh?”. It is a deep question that I cannot answer. Well, at least for now. So I came up with the solution of jotting down the things I like first.

I remember the movie, “Runaway Bride” of Julia Roberts. She must find out what she wants first before committing to someone. I think, we all need that. We need to know ourselves.

This morning, I went to the nearest convenience store to send money to my sister. I walked around the store too to check what I like and found a small bag of Almonds. I have been a fan of nuts but my favorite is Almond.

Observing small details like this is very important in knowing who you are. And I’ve learned from it that, knowing what I like will make me not just agree to people around. It will give me a stronger perspective of allowing myself to decide and not just go with the flow.

What are you thoughts? Let me know.

Encouragements · Thoughts&Reflection

Restless?

Lately, I feel restless. I feel so tired at work, but still, I can’t sleep. My mind doesn’t stop thinking.

Ctto

Then God reminded me of a word He kept in my heart in the start of the year. It was about Ruth being restless too because she needs to get grains for them to live. I must admit that it’s really worst to have anxiety attacks especially when you need to work for a living. However, I was also reminded of our front liners today who has been tired at work and worried at some point that they might carry the virus and spread it without knowing to their loved ones.

Aren’t we are all tired? Tired of this battle in the mind, with the virus, with work, and others. And the good thing about being tired, we can be comforted and we know that at the end of the day, even if we felt alone, even if we thought no one is listening, God is there.

In 2 Corinthians 1:3 it says there, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” Amen. Let us also remember His promise, Hebrews 13:5, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

What I realized these days that I have been tormented with worries are: 1. God is in control no matter what. 2. We need to cling to His promises and always take heart! 3. Always be grateful in every circumstance. That’s a good heart check. What’s in your heart these days? 3. God’s comfort will always suffice. Sometimes, despite the genuineness of our friends we know that something is missing and “Everything’s gonna be okay” will never be enough. Seek God.

What are the sources of your tiredness these days? Is it your work, family, worries about the virus, provision of family needs? Know that we have one true God who will always be there for us no matter how tiring it is. Let us cast our cares to Him and be comforted by the One who truly cares about you.

Jesus left a note on your table as a reminder…

I hope that everyone will be filled with God’s grace and love today. Good night!

Personal · Thoughts&Reflection

Bloom Where You are Planted

Proverbs 31:15-17

While reading my motivation tab at work, I stumbled into this again.

At 26, I am so conscious about my career path and if I am able to provide the needs of our family. Being named “Jireh” honestly added pressure to me.

Now, you know why. 😂

Contemplating to it again, I realized, that it’s literally happening to me now. I am currently working at night for a different country and I am able to provide the needs of the family. And along side with this realization, God reminded me to bloom where I am planted today.

I am teacher by profession and my work right now is different though still in line with communication. Despite the difficulties of working outside my comfort zone, I know that I am where He wanted me to be. This time may be hard but I know that in this season of my life, He is constantly training and pruning me in so many levels. And despite the hardships, He still motivates me to shine and grow wherever I am.

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13 ESV

Great thing that we have His words reminding us that whatever season we are in, He will always strengthen and enable us. Jesus is our best help.

Personal · Thoughts&Reflection

Committing Plans to Him

CTTO. Just saw this photo online.

I have been really busy these days. My sister and I were doing plans for the new business that we opened. Schedules, marketing strategies, supplies and other stuff are taken cared of. Somehow I am anxious about it. It is not my first time to open a business but I just really want to be assured that the Lord is with us in this journey. I believe that business is not just about how good you are but how He will join you every step of the way.

The verse above is a great reminder that we can trust God on our plans and He will guide us. We can always trust that His plans for us are good and it will be better to share our plans with Him. There is peace, joy and assurance that everything will turn out right.

Can you share one plan that you want commit to the Lord? I will be delighted to pray for you.

Thoughts&Reflection

Vulnerability

Sometimes, it’s hard to be vulnerable to people even though you have been friends with them for years. I experienced rejection before and I have been anxious to open up because that person might leave me just like the others. I even remember someone told me, she is like walking on eggshells whenever she talks to me. So I asked myself then, should I say anything then? Maybe everyone feels this way. Not that I just started to conceal how I feel since she said that but I was more convinced that it’s the best thing to do. So I continued hiding how I truly felt because I was afraid that people will feel the same way or might leave. I even thought, God might feel that I am way too sensitive. He might be complaining about how emotional I am, how high my anxiety level is and how depressing my thoughts are. I am so afraid that He’ll get tired of me and leave.

Then He talked to me through a verse…

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. -Matthew 18:2‭-‬4 ESV

Today, He called me out to really COME to Him as His daughter. He reminded me to tell him everything, humbling myself before him, acknowledging that He has power over my situation, that He is my Father and that I fully trust Him with my life. Isn’t it great to have a heavenly Father who doesn’t invalidate how we feel rather acknowledge them? Isn’t it great to have a wonderful Father who listens and stays? I think it’s AWESOME.

Remember that even in our darkest hours, He was there loving us. (Romans 5:8) He accepted us. (Romans 15:7) He promised that no matter what, He will never leave us nor forsake us. (Joshua 1:5) And all we need to do is come to Him. (Matthew 11:28-29).

Personal · Thoughts&Reflection · Uncategorized

Dancing in the Current

We had internet outage for 6 days and it’s not really good. It hindered me do things like working, posting here and connecting with loved ones. And if you’re asking for data connection, it’s hard to get it on our area. Even Facebook messenger was really hard to open. Good thing, it’s already fixed.

But what did I learn from those 6 days? I learned to enjoy each moment.

These days, the Lord has been teaching me to wait and to tell you, it’s not my favorite lesson. As a person who doesn’t want to waste time, you can say that patience and waiting is not really my thing. But thankfully, He is our teacher, He will patiently teach us so we can eventually learn things.

During that time that we had no internet connection, I was able to read my Bible more, bond with my nephew, niece, and cousins. I had more time getting to know my cousins. I had more time doing household chores. I had less time online and spent it offline. I surprisingly enjoyed it. If it will be my usual self, I will surely be calling the Internet Provider every hour, pestering them to fix the connection but I didn’t. Instead, I just did the activities I can do like play with the kids, watch movie with them, chat with my cousins, accompany them to get driver’s license, read books and my Bible, laundry my clothes, wash the dishes, cook and experiment and etc.

Isn’t God so creative in teaching? In teaching, we have what we call, “Learning by doing” and I think that’s His teaching style. He wants us to get involve and experience to fully understand and learn.

God wants us to learn how to dance in the current sometimes and stop forcing things. This is what waiting and patience really mean – resting in Him assured that He is making things work together for good.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
-Galatians 5:22‭-‬23 ESV

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! -Psalm 27:14 ESV

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. -Isaiah 40:31 ESV